Random Thoughts-Myrtle Beach Edition

-I'm convinced that South Carolina is stuck in the 50's.  There's no way in the HELL I'd eat a pancake or a piece of bacon out of Tar Baby's Pancakes (pictured above). I rode by this and damn near went ballistic. I was on a bus with all white people so I couldn't flip all the way out...but this is ridiculous.  Every where I turned down there...plantation this (i.e. Plantation Pancake House, Plantation golf course), plantation that...even had a Mamy's kitchen. It seems like SC forgot that slavery was over or something....maybe they're waiting for it to come back like cooked crack. I made sure I had my freedom papers on my person in triplicate...I was on the lookout for a lynch mob the whole time.

-Fcuk casino boats...4-6 ft waves and a bad luck streak makes for a rough 5 hours on a boat.  $50 down in  a hour? No dice. The Big East Tournament was the only thing that made my aquatic excursion tolerable...until I remembered I couldn't bet on the games. Next time I'm taking my gambling talents to Vegas/Atlantic City.

-SC drivers: gonna need for y'all to learn how to drive. My life flashed before my eyes more times that I'd like for it to.

-Going to Myrtle Beach off season in the middle of the week is where it's at.  Low hotel rates and low traffic. The spring break crowd is never dull. Watching a drunk dude try to get money from an ATM in Spanish never gets old....and that happened when I was checking in.

-3 Krispy Kremes in like 3 blocks of the hotel wreaked havoc on my attempt at a diet.

-Speaking of sweets...It's Sugar @ Broadway At the Beach has the most delicious/expensive M&Ms on Earth. It's like the sneaker boutique of candy...spending on $6 on rare colors makes the M&Ms taste so much better. #NoPrecious

-Dub

PETA Really IS Crazy...

 

I....I mean....this...I'm finding a hard time finding words to properly describe this foolishness.  And yes it is real...check it out here. This is the same dude that said voting is "cool" and would go back to school to major in Geometry...I'm supposed to believe this dude believes in the ethical treatment of animals? I know I shouldn't be saying this about the brother...but if I was a betting man I'd put money on him not even knowing what PETA is. I'm still trying to figure out why this cat has french tips on his feet.  In honor of this foolishness I'm going to eat steak in a fur coat watching a dog fight...fcuk PETA.

-Dub

Tales of an Angry Beaver

So...I've had a couple of Angry Beaver moments in the past 24 hours.  For those of you all who did not have a childhood, The Angry Beavers was a cartoon on Nickelodeon about...you guessed it...two angry beavers named Norbert and Dagget.  Me and my boys (shoutout to my Knock Phi brethren) use this term to refer to situations when you act more like Dagget and less like Norbert.

Episode 1: Dub vs. Sony
I've had well documented computer problems over the past month.  So I called Sony tech support yesterday to ask about my e-ticket I submitted 2 weeks ago...I had to call them to fix what their technician broke the last time.  When I FINALLY got to speak with someone, he informed me that the ticket had been canceled because my laptop isn't under warranty anymore.*insert blank stare*  Had to break it down to him:  "So you can to fix a portion of my computer that had an extended warranty, essentially left my computer in worse shape, but now you can't fix what you broke because it's not under warranty??"  I didn't even call about the real problem (i.e. the line of dead pixels on my screen...I've been trying to ignore it and act like it isn't there) but to fix what they messed up.  Had to ask for a supervisor...they said they can't speak to me but I can talk to the next level of support o_O.  This is when it gets good...for starters this guy kept saying he was "reading notes" on my account.  I was on the phone with him for 20 minutes..damn dude is it written in Latin-Hieroglyphics (yes...I made that up)?  He offered to send my computer to San Diego for repair but couldn't guarantee that it can be fixed for free...um what dude? I gotta pay for you all's mistake? If he was in front of me I would have socked him directly in his chest....I try not to show out over the phone because I work at a call center and karma's a bitch but I had to raise the voice. He kept on saying he couldn't understand what I was saying because I was talking too fast.  Understandable because I can talk fast...but his Indian ass wasn't understanding me anyway.  I just hung up...I don't cuss out people that work at call centers and plus...he wouldn't have understood what I was saying because I'm sure English wasn't his first language.  Might delay the podcast though...it's not my fault though, blame it on Habeeb.

Episode 2: Dub vs. Old Medical Bills vs. State of NC
Triple Threat Match with Charlie Sheen-Guest Referee

So I filed my taxes back in the first week of February so I get cheddar the government over jacked me for (you gonna pay what you OWE!).  The feds were fast with their refund (thank you Mr. Obama) but NC? They're dragging their feet...I don't give a damn that y'all are broke...y'all can take up a collection plate for your boy during a session of the General Assembly, I don't care.  So I called to ask when can I expect to receive my duckets...they said up to 45 days. *insert another blank stare* Then they told me that my refund is going to be lower because of a lien from the ECU School of Medicine? *WHAT?? I went to NC State b#tch!! Why would I owe them money??* She gave me the number so I gave them a call...lady was nice and everything but told me that the money was taken to take care of an outstanding bill from 1995.  For those of you all that who didn't know...I was born in 1987...which would have made me 8 in '95.

*Warning: the following rant occurred in my mind when I heard this news. If you're reading and didn't know I cussed I'm sorry.  If you still think of me as a little kid or do not want to read what a rant with a healthy dose of curse words I suggest you scroll to the end or stop reading now.  I'm a grown man...don't judge me.*

BITCH I WAS 8 YEARS OLD!!!!1! WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I KNOW ABOUT A BILL FROM 16 YEARS AGO? Like I'm going to tell my dad "Hey dad...do I have any old bills from 16 years ago that haven't been paid? Might wanna get on that." I THOUGHT GIRLS HAD COOTIES THEN...I DIDN'T PAY FOR NO DAMN COOTIE SHOT! CIRCLE CIRCLE, DOT DOT MY ASS! I  WAS TOO BUSY EATING BIG ASS BOWLS OF CEREAL AND WATCHING CARTOONS ON SATURDAYS!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SEND A BILL TO MY PARENTS??? YOU KNOW...MY RESPONSIBLE ADULTS WHEN I WAS 8, YOU MUTHAFUCKA!!

But of course, this all occurred in my head...so I just politely said thank you and hung up the phone. Definitely mad they jacked my refund and ain't tell your boy ANYTHING...but it's all water under the bridge now. I do wonder if it's really mine or if it's my grandfather's bill. But hey...it doesn't matter because as the great Charlie Sheen said...I'm still winning.  That's my new outlook on life...no matter what happens I'm still winning.

-Dub

Black History Month Wrap-Up

Before I start: big ups to Google for finally developing an official Blogger app for Android. Now I'll finally be able to post when I'm out and about and get inspired by one of the ignant muses.


We're almost into the month of March, so that means we're just about through with another Black History Month. Maybe this is just me but I feel like this one has been rather...um...unsuccessful. Not that any of them have been landmark but this one has seemed extra bland. Other than the usual quotes by black leaders posted on Facebook/Twitter, the normal salty messages by closet racists, and the barrage of McDonald's commercials for Black 365 (which only seem to come on in February o_O), there's only one thing that I'll take from BHM '11: the failure of black America to eliminate the ignant triumvirate. The trio I'm referring to is Flavor Flav, Antoine Dodson, and Waka Flocka....why are these cats still alive man? Black America CAN NOT move forward if they're being used to represent us as a whole...I don't give a damn who is the President. I'm not gonna lie, I listen to Waka when I'm playing Call of Duty but when little kids think it's cool to ad lib gun shots and talking gangs...I have to draw the line. I'm too proud of a black man for people to tell me to hid my kids and hide my wife...I'm gonna spaz the hell out next time that happens. And I NEVER thought I'd live to see Flav's Fried Chicken...the old me would have blown his brains out just at the mere thought. We need to hire some high level ninjas for some black ops next year...straight assassin style. 
Ok...I'm kidding (partially) but it is time for us to wake up and put an end to the proliferation of negative stereotypes so prevalent in the media today. The simplest and most effective thing we can do? Stop supporting them financially...the profit motive is the only reason stuff gets done in a capitalist economy. If you want labels to stop putting out bad music paraded as new hip hop? Stop buying the music. Tired of the same buffoon comedians? Stop watching and supporting the sponsors, going to their shows, and watching these lackluster sitcoms/movies (and yes, I'm looking at you Tyler Perry). If there was a mainstream demand for Lupe Fiasco rather than Soulja Boy then you'd see more promotion for "Lasers" than the nothing that Lupe is getting now. Gotta change something...or at least Chuck D needs to slap Flav HARD. Then I'd feel better.

And before I go...had a Beneath Tha Beat gathering with the other members of the collective. I'm making an attempt to come back from my grown man hiatus and contribute more...so...ya boy is coming out with a podcast for your listening pleasure. Definitely going to take my time and do it right...I'll keep you all updated.

-Dub

Not For The Epileptic-Kanye's "All Of The Lights" Video

Take a look at Kanye's new video directed by Hype Williams (he's still alive??). One...I hope no one that is epileptic watched that video or they're about to have a serious episode.  I'm not even sure why people make music videos anymore...it's not like MTV/Vh1 plays them anymore...and BET?....let's not start with them. Personally?...not a big fan of the video.  Love the track...but the words in lights were a little over done...after the intro I thought "OK...that's enough."  But genius/gayfish Kanye stayed at it and made it...um...cool.  I'm still not sure why Kid Cudi was in the video...but I'm glad that, even after making all of that sad ass music, he hasn't committed suicide yet.  But Rhianna?? GUD LAWD! She's still nuttier than squirrel shit but she looks delicious in that video (SN: I've coined a new term for sexy women:  visually delicious. Take it and use it...and if you don't like it kiss my ass).  That shirt type contraption accentuates her small but efficient amount of titty meat.  Dope track though...Kanye's "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" is challenging "Graduation" as my favorite West album.

-Dub

R.I.P. Escalade

In somber news, Troy Jackson, also known as Escalade from the And 1 tapes, passed away in his sleep last night.  Honestly didn't know that he was the brother of ESPN NBA analyst Mark Jackson.  He held it down for big dudes on the court...he made me believe that one day I could dunk.  Until I took my 5'8" ass on the court....f*ck gravity.  He was an athletic guy and always held things together when they were on the tour.  I'm not sure if he had any health problems...just hope nothing sideways happened to him...he was a solid cat from what I saw on the show.  Sad day...you will be missed.

-Dub

Computer Woes/F.A.B. Fashion Blog

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize to my 3.2 readers that have missed me...it's been too long since my last post.  I'm trying to make these things more regular, but the ignant muses don't strike me all the time like I want them to. Part of the reason is my Vaio being on the fritz.  I should have let well enough alone...I have a dead line of pixels in my screen.  The technician that came out ending up doing more harm than good...among other things, my track pad on my laptop doesn't work anymore (this blog post is especially frustrating because my space bar seems to me loose).  I didn't trust his work...it's like they sent an old dude who worked on the first computer ever.  I swear he was blind...it was 2pm with all the lights on in the apartment and the windows open...he talking about he doesn't have enough light.  Damn man...you need the sun in here too?  Ok...enough about that...
 

I'm all about showing love to other blogs.  My homegirl Ashley has a fashion blog about...uh...fashion stuff.  She's really big on reasonably priced fashion, not-so-reasonably priced fashion, and make up. Personally, I'm not a make up guy...I can see every now and then but I'm all about natural beauty....but I will say she always does a good job with hers.  There's nothing worse than a woman that looks like she put on her make up in the dark coming out the house looking like Homey the Clown.  Read a couple of posts and you'll see that she goes step by step and lets you know how to properly apply make up...also lets you know what products are good and where they can be purchased from.  She also posts about how much certain fashion pieces are.  Ladies are lucky...you all can put together a good looking ensemble and not break the bank.  Fellas have to sell dope...our clothes are high O_O.  There are a couple of posts that show you where the deals are...it's like insider trading for fashion addicts, except you won't follow Martha Stewart to jail.  Here is the link: fabellis.blogspot.com/.  Check it out and share it...the more the merrier.  Until next time...I'm gonna laptop hunting and cuss out some Indian dude that works for Sony.

-Dub